romancing_yourself1By Lisa Cypers Kamen


In today’s world, Hollywood movies, bestselling books and Hallmark cards define romance. Back in ancient Rome, that role was filled by a mischievous little winged guy named Cupid. The son of Venus (more famously known as the beautiful Aphrodite), Cupid ruled the realm of erotic love. With one shot of his heart-filled arrow, the God caused his target to fall into deep, passionate love with the next person in sight.

In the most famous story, Cupid’s innately jealous mom asks him to make the beautiful princess Psyche fall in love with a monster. Talk about being punished for being beautiful! But when Cupid is about to send his arrow flying toward Psyche, he gets so overwhelmed by her beauty that he sticks himself by accident. He falls in love, hard and fast. The moral: We’re all vulnerable to love. We can all fall for someone at a moment’s notice, even if we think we’re the one in control.

But what would the world be like if each time we were struck by Cupid, the first place we looked was in the mirror? Why isn’t there a Cupid myth about that? In our world of red roses, chocolate candies and Valentine’s Day cards, our relationship with ourselves could use a bit of emphasis.

February 14th isn’t just about showering our suitors with gifts and affection (even though that can be a lot of fun). It should also be about romancing ourselves. Loving yourself is the best thing you can do for your current (or future) partner. It may be cliché, but loving yourself is the best way to make sure we can love someone else. Here’s how to turn Cupid’s arrow on yourself:

Loving yourself is a lifestyle. When you dedicate your life to love, you choose to use all your senses to spread empathy, compassion, nonviolence, kindness and joy. You choose to accept the best parts of yourself (those hidden talents and public triumphs) and the worst ones (those pesky habits that keep you from hitting full-stride). Loving every part of yourself won’t ward off pain, disappointment or sadness, but it will give us strength when adversity does strike. It’s no fun to go through life picking yourself apart. Romancing yourself, on the other hand, is exhilarating! Go to the bakery you’ve always wanted to try, take a bubble bath, read a good book, and indulge in what makes your soul sing. You expect warmth, care and respect from your lover, so why shouldn’t you expect it from yourself?

This Valentine’s Day (and every other day), dedicate your life to love. Partner with yourself so that you can be a better partner for someone else. If you love and accept yourself, flaws and all, you’ll be much more likely to find love in other parts of your life. And you’ll be all the more ready to respond with care, passion and acceptance when Cupid strikes up a little magic in your life.


Independent filmmaker, author, happiness coach and speaker Lisa Cypers Kamen creates these blogs to entertain, enlighten and educate our service men and women along with their families as well as support our troops. To contact Lisa, email her directly at and check out her websites at , &

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