There are many ways you can say goodbye to a loved one. Whether or not you were able to say goodbye in person, you may need to carry out an act of resolution even now.
Part of resolution and saying goodbye may involve finding others who are grieving the same loved one as you. If you were, for instance, around your friend in battle, you may have some memories and times to share with his family members and loved ones left behind. Sharing these memories will help both of you.
Some have found it helpful to write a letter to your loved one, saying goodbye. You can leave this in a journal or scrapbook of memories, or—if it would help to symbolically let go—send the letter away in the water or through a small bonfire. You can share this letter with others who are grieving, and invite them to do the same, or keep this one private.
Donating to one of their favorite charities in their name helps continue their legacy, as well as making sure those left behind remember some memories of your loved one. Younger children especially will benefit from this, so do not be afraid or too worried about sharing stories of your memories to your children—young and old.
As mentioned earlier, selecting an area to hold memories and keepsakes might help, in the form of a memento box, scrapbook, journal, or photo album. If you have children or best friends or family members who wish to be involved in this, then consider it a form of memorial service, and include them in on it.
Consider this as a way of saying goodbye, while still remembering the person, love, and friendship.
HH4Heroes Grief Easing Strategy #9
Finding Deeper Meaning. For many of us, the loss of a loved one or a trauma can bring about a profound life transformation. Adversity has a very sneaky way of teaching us life lessons that we might not ever have had the opportunity to embrace and experience without the sadness, grief and discomfort. No one invites tragedy in as a houseguest. However, if it arrives, one of the most life-affirming ways of handling it is to be transformed by it. This requires focus and attention in listening, seeing and feeling what has happened in a very different light. It means we allow ourselves the dignity of our grief process and then comes out the other side a better person. This is called Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG).
(If you are suicidal, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides trained telephone counselors 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Crisis help is a phone call away: 1.800.273.8255)
Remember…happiness is an inside job!
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Independent filmmaker, author, happiness coach and speaker Lisa Cypers Kamen creates these blogs to entertain, enlighten and educate our service men and women along with their families as well as support our troops. To contact Lisa, email her directly at email@example.com and check out her websites at www.harvestinghappiness.com , www.hh4heroes.org & www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com.
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Harvesting Happiness for Heroes is a pending 501(c)(3), non-profit corporation. Our mission objective is to offer support services to Warriors and Warrior families challenged by Combat Trauma, PTSD and post-deployment reintegration issues. HH4Heroes offers Battle Buddy workshops, family awareness training, online community support, one-on-one coaching services, as well as retreats for Warriors to decompress from battle and understand the tools available for them to adapt their military skills to civilian society.
Harvesting Happiness & Harvesting Happiness for Heroes provides positive psychology coaching tools to facilitate greater well-being. This communication is provided for education and inspiration. This communication does not constitute mental health treatment nor is it indicative of a private therapeutic relationship. Individuals desiring help for trauma, addiction and abuse related issues or other psychological concerns should seek out a mental health professional.
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