Grieving is always a process, and you cannot know when you will be “through” the steps. You may always feel some pain when you think about this lost friend, no matter what their relation to you was, or how much time has passed. This is normal.
Children may work through their grief in a different way or “order” than you; just be there to talk to them about what is happening, and the memories of your loved one. Answer their questions the best you can, but don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers. Encourage them to seek out friends and loved ones as well, and involve them in memorials if they feel comfortable and are old enough to understand.
Remember to not rush the process, or deny and completely bury your feelings. Moving on with life is important, but so is grieving.
Let go of the guilt, remember the goodness that was in your loved one’s life. Work through your sadness and anger, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Keep other loved ones around you, stay active, congratulate yourself for doing the small things in life—from making coffee to walking the dog—as you slowly gain ground. Remember there is a difference in letting go and forgetting. Find a way to say goodbye.
Remember you are not alone, and you will work through this. Others have treaded the path you are on before you, and while it is difficult, you will rise to the challenge. You will move on in love, and hope, eventually. Your life was better with this person having been there, and those memories will rest securely in your heart and mind.
HH4Heroes Grief Easing Strategy #10
Connection is Key. It takes a village to live a well-lived life. This includes loving and sometimes losing who and what we hold dear. One of the strongest tools for getting through anything is having deeply rooted and healthy connections to our family, friends, colleagues, God or whatever spiritual practice you may believe in. Connection is what keeps us grounded and plugged into life. Relationships are not always easy but they are our soul food. As you move through your mourning know you are not alone even though you may feel lonely. Know that the pain will lessen with time. Know that you need not forget your ties in order to heal and that by celebrating your connections to those living and passed on you validate the human spirit at its best.
Thank you for reading through these steps with us, and remember to be strong in who you are.
(If you are suicidal, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides trained telephone counselors 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Crisis help is a phone call away: 1.800.273.8255)
Remember…happiness is an inside job!
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Independent filmmaker, author, happiness coach and speaker Lisa Cypers Kamen creates these blogs to entertain, enlighten and educate our service men and women along with their families as well as support our troops. To contact Lisa, email her directly at firstname.lastname@example.org and check out her websites at www.harvestinghappiness.com , www.hh4heroes.org & www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com.
Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio with Lisa Cypers Kamen brings a fresh approach to the airwaves promoting happiness, well-being and global human flourishing by presenting a diverse and proactive collection of the greatest thinkers and doers who have devoted their lives to creating a better world in which to live.
She is an expert in creating happiness, finding pathways to happiness, and building a happiness formula in her Harvesting Happiness workshops. Cultivate a happier life by tuning in weekly click here .Wednesdays at 12:00 pm to 1:00 pm EST. or download her free podcasts by clicking here.
Harvesting Happiness for Heroes is a pending 501(c)(3), non-profit corporation. Our mission objective is to offer support services to Warriors and Warrior families challenged by Combat Trauma, PTSD and post-deployment reintegration issues. HH4Heroes offers Battle Buddy workshops, family awareness training, online community support, one-on-one coaching services, as well as retreats for Warriors to decompress from battle and understand the tools available for them to adapt their military skills to civilian society.
Harvesting Happiness & Harvesting Happiness for Heroes provides positive psychology coaching tools to facilitate greater well-being. This communication is provided for education and inspiration. This communication does not constitute mental health treatment nor is it indicative of a private therapeutic relationship. Individuals desiring help for trauma, addiction and abuse related issues or other psychological concerns should seek out a mental health professional.
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