Part of dispelling anger long-term is by having people you know you can trust, who understand you, and you can connect with…and then working on keeping them healthily in your life. One of the reasons anger, and the causes for anger, fester inside of you is because you have no one to simply talk to about your experiences, your emotions, your worries, and your frustrations.
For some, that may mean you need to rekindle old friendships, or the connection in your marriage or romantic relationship. When things got busy (and frustrating) you may have lost touch with your close friends—now is the time to email, video chat, call, or meet up for coffee. Use this opportunity to explain why you have been out of touch, and leave some space for old friends to get back to you. If they were the ones to drop out of touch, especially if they are a family member, then simply let them know that you are available for reconciliation. Sending a holiday card, or a short email, will not only send that message; but begin healing some places of anger in both of your lives.
For some of you, it may involve opening up a bit. Perhaps you have those you trust and who care about you; but you don’t let yourself talk to them about what is happening in your life. You may be angry at your boss, angry at your spouse, angry at your family; but you don’t take some time to talk to a trusted friend about it. You don’t glean their wisdom, or just their listening space. Take some time to open that door.
And what if the person you connect with is someone you are also angry at? That involves forgiveness, as we discussed, and perhaps explaining why you are angry (look to earlier blogs for some ways to go into that). It may also involve explaining why you are so frustrated with them for other reasons—perhaps they need to know about your bad day at work, the reason for you snapping every work-night. Or perhaps you have memories from the past you haven’t talked about yet.
HH4Heroes Anger Management Strategy #8
Battle Buddies Work. One of the more comforting ways of dealing with anger is to share your feelings with someone, specifically a peer, who is going through or who has been in a situation similar to yours. Your Battle Buddy (or buddies) is your “go to guy/gal” with whom you have trust and confidence to help you if and when needed. At the same time, your ability to be honest with your Battle Buddy about what you are feeling and experiencing is essential in order for them to assist.
These lines of communication, even if slight and possibly difficult at first, will help keep a steadiness in your life. You won’t feel the need to snap as much, and you may be able to discuss some events still plaguing you today. Most importantly, you will have a support group, and that makes every situation in life a little less difficult.
Remember…happiness is an inside job!
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Independent filmmaker, author, happiness coach and speaker Lisa Cypers Kamen creates these blogs to entertain, enlighten and educate our service men and women along with their families as well as support our troops. To contact Lisa, email her directly at email@example.com and check out her websites at www.harvestinghappiness.com , www.hh4heroes.org & www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com.
Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio with Lisa Cypers Kamen brings a fresh approach to the airwaves promoting happiness, well-being and global human flourishing by presenting a diverse and proactive collection of the greatest thinkers and doers who have devoted their lives to creating a better world in which to live.
She is an expert in creating happiness, finding pathways to happiness, and building a happiness formula in her Harvesting Happiness workshops. Cultivate a happier life by tuning in weekly click here .Wednesdays at 12:00 pm to 1:00 pm EST. or download her free podcasts by clicking here.
Harvesting Happiness for Heroes is a pending 501(c)(3), non-profit corporation. Our mission objective is to offer support services to Warriors and Warrior families challenged by Combat Trauma, PTSD and post-deployment reintegration issues. HH4Heroes offers Battle Buddy workshops, family awareness training, online community support, one-on-one coaching services, as well as retreats for Warriors to decompress from battle and understand the tools available for them to adapt their military skills to civilian society.
Harvesting Happiness & Harvesting Happiness for Heroes provides positive psychology coaching tools to facilitate greater well-being. This communication is provided for education and inspiration. This communication does not constitute mental health treatment nor is it indicative of a private therapeutic relationship. Individuals desiring help for trauma, addiction and abuse related issues or other psychological concerns should seek out a mental health professional.
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