The last point I would like to address before reviewing what will help with our anger situations and relationships brings us back to blame.
As we discussed earlier—and if you haven’t read these blogs yet, then please do, before joining us here—part of ending the anger cycle is by keeping blame out of your statements. Try to acknowledge your needs to yourself, and then state them clearly and kindly—without blame.
But sometimes, a little extra is needed. This is the hardest part, especially when angry, and requires letting go of some pride. Admit where you went wrong.
Let me clarify that this does not mean you need to be a doormat. This does not mean you are self-loathing, or take full responsibility for the situation. It takes two to tango, as the saying goes. But often times what will soften another’s heart, or at least help bring us out of an angry patch, is calmly acknowledging somewhere we went wrong. Letting the person know you acknowledge your flare up, your running away, or your part in the matter shows you are open to hearing their point of view, you are open to changing, and most of all you are open to ending the cycle between you.
And remember that this may involve some reviewing of your own anger patterns, and where you may have learned these patterns from, or what situation may be nipping at your subconscious; and therefore your nervous system. Taking steps out of your anger involves changing how you react, how you look at yourself and others, and how you analyze your own relationship and family dynamics. This involves talking things out when the situation is right for all involved, or when you find it healthy and helpful to talk to your support system. And it involves finding some daily ways to cope with your excess anger and immediate frustration; without burying the real causes of anger underneath these activities.
HH4Heroes Anger Management Strategy #10
Anger as a Teacher. The journey from anger to greater contentment can be a challenging one and by far one of the greatest life lessons. We can’t eliminate anger from life. Life is filled with uncertainty that creates discomfort, suffering and loss. We cannot change these events but we can learn to manage our angry responses. How we relate to any issue is truly the issue. The next time anger rears its ugly head ask yourself, “What can this event teach me about myself to help me grow?”
Stay strong! You have the power to change yourself, and your situation! You have the heart to heal and the way to endure. You have the soul to forgive and ask for forgiveness. And you have those in your life who love you, and will love you as you change the anger patterns in your life; family members, friends, and other loved ones. With all this help, your anger can dissipate into a healthier, happier, and less-angry you.
Remember…happiness is an inside job!
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Independent filmmaker, author, happiness coach and speaker Lisa Cypers Kamen creates these blogs to entertain, enlighten and educate our service men and women along with their families as well as support our troops. To contact Lisa, email her directly at firstname.lastname@example.org and check out her websites at www.harvestinghappiness.com , www.hh4heroes.org & www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com.
Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio with Lisa Cypers Kamen brings a fresh approach to the airwaves promoting happiness, well-being and global human flourishing by presenting a diverse and proactive collection of the greatest thinkers and doers who have devoted their lives to creating a better world in which to live.
She is an expert in creating happiness, finding pathways to happiness, and building a happiness formula in her Harvesting Happiness workshops. Cultivate a happier life by tuning in weekly click here .Wednesdays at 12:00 pm to 1:00 pm EST. or download her free podcasts by clicking here.
Harvesting Happiness for Heroes is a pending 501(c)(3), non-profit corporation. Our mission objective is to offer support services to Warriors and Warrior families challenged by Combat Trauma, PTSD and post-deployment reintegration issues. HH4Heroes offers Battle Buddy workshops, family awareness training, online community support, one-on-one coaching services, as well as retreats for Warriors to decompress from battle and understand the tools available for them to adapt their military skills to civilian society.
Harvesting Happiness & Harvesting Happiness for Heroes provides positive psychology coaching tools to facilitate greater well-being. This communication is provided for education and inspiration. This communication does not constitute mental health treatment nor is it indicative of a private therapeutic relationship. Individuals desiring help for trauma, addiction and abuse related issues or other psychological concerns should seek out a mental health professional.
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