Anger is perhaps one of the most debilitating emotions we can experience. In anger, we are hurting and inflict pain, we cover up our past and present wounds and vulnerabilities, and we experience the full frustration of living in any messed up or unjust situation. Without anger, could we vent or experience change? What exactly is right and wrong about anger, and why is that some anger-induced situations lead to only more anger? Why is it that we feel helpless to break free from certain situations?
Part of dealing with anger in our lives is acknowledging what our own style of anger is and how we initially react, as well as the origins for our anger. Without knowing these facts we probably won’t be able to solve the initial causes, nor change how we react when angry.
Different people respond to anger differently. Some of us distance ourselves emotionally or physically—we show less emotion in general, we talk less, we move to another state, we leave altogether. Some of us do the exact opposite; we nag more, we want to talk about our feelings, we need to express and vent our anger (whether to the person who is making us angry or not, depending on the relationship). Some of us tend to blame others. Some of us tend to work and strive harder, making sure everything goes according to plan—ours of course, since it is better—and other people are corrected in their errant ways. Some of us do the opposite; we let things slide until the straw breaks the camel’s back and we have an excuse to let our anger and our responsibilities go. In each of these situations anger is involved, just in different manners; smoldering inside or raging outwardly. We handle our anger, like our stresses and grievances, quite differently.
Analyze the above qualities and ask yourself; of these descriptions defines me the most? Finding these answers can help zero in on your own style and weakness, and, by effect, the solutions.
HH4Heroes Anger Management Strategy #1
Acknowledgment and owning it. When anger percolates it is because we feel that someone else has done something to wrong us. In some instances, this might be the case. However, more often than not, it is our perception of a situation that upsets us. The next time you get angry, stop for a moment and ask, “Is that person intentionally working to upset me or is it my reaction to him/her that is distressing me?” When take responsibility for our behaviors and actions, we are on the road to better self-management and regulation.
In this blog series we will explore powerful emotion of anger and ways to manage it when it interferes with our lives and relationships.
Remember…happiness is an inside job!
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Independent filmmaker, author, happiness coach and speaker Lisa Cypers Kamen creates these blogs to entertain, enlighten and educate our service men and women along with their families as well as support our troops. To contact Lisa, email her directly at firstname.lastname@example.org and check out her websites at www.harvestinghappiness.com , www.hh4heroes.org & www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com.
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Harvesting Happiness for Heroes is a pending 501(c)(3), non-profit corporation. Our mission objective is to offer support services to Warriors and Warrior families challenged by Combat Trauma, PTSD and post-deployment reintegration issues. HH4Heroes offers Battle Buddy workshops, family awareness training, online community support, one-on-one coaching services, as well as retreats for Warriors to decompress from battle and understand the tools available for them to adapt their military skills to civilian society.
Harvesting Happiness & Harvesting Happiness for Heroes provides positive psychology coaching tools to facilitate greater well-being. This communication is provided for education and inspiration. This communication does not constitute mental health treatment nor is it indicative of a private therapeutic relationship. Individuals desiring help for trauma, addiction and abuse related issues or other psychological concerns should seek out a mental health professional.
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